My name is Markus and I'm a former investment banker, startup founder and now i'm training to become a therapist. I write regularly on mental health, entrepreneurship and personal growth. You can read more about me in the About section.
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Anger, for me
Anger is a special kind of emotion. As irritation grows and turns into anger and maybe even to rage, every bit of my body becomes heavy and tense. Not like I'm about to fight, flee or freeze but like the tension built up when two characters from a Starwars movie fight with lightsabers and one tries overpowering the other. For me, I believe, this tension is the result of a conflict going on within me between a part of me wanting to express the anger and another part trying to contain it. Instead of giving in, afraid of what that means, I attempt to contain it by minimizing it - it's not so bad, - rejecting it - I have no right to be angry about this, - or denying it - I want to be okay with this.
I don't know what a good expression of anger looks like. Society seems to frown on the expression of any feeling but this expectation is not only unrealistic but also dangerous. Anger, just like joy and fear and sadness and all other feelings, are a normal and expected part of life. Bound to happen to all of us countless of times. Normalizing feelings will lead to more of us knowing how to express, in a healthy way, each and every feeling.
How to get the most out of therapy
Talk therapy offers an incredible opportunity for personal growth. I get the most out of my sessions by managing my expectations, focusing on my relationship with my therapist and by spending a few minutes before, after and in between sessions to reflect.
Why speaking to your friends isn’t a replacement for therapy
Friends are fantastic and incredibly supportive but they probably don’t have the professional training, the time or the objectivity to offer anything comparable to the level of support that your therapist can. Speak to your friends, but don’t let that stop you from also speaking with a professional.
Ignoring our feelings is such an easy trap
Ignoring our feelings feels like the easiest option in the moment but it stops us from nipping situations in the bid and living our lives the way we really want to live.
Three truths I learned about feelings after burning out at the age of 28
Burning out at the age of 28 introduced me to my feelings for the first time and the experience taught me three fundamental truths about feelings.
You aren’t failing, you’re living
Taking care of our mental health is something we’ll be doing for our entire life and not something that can be hacked.
Don't think. Feel
The answer to the big "how are you question?" is found in your body and not your head.
Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes
It’s easy to believe that we’re taking responsibility for past mistakes by ruminating on what we’ve done and feeling miserable but doing something doesn’t mean you’re learning. Taking responsibility requires intentionally acknowledging what you’ve done, learning from it and then forgiving yourself.